Blog · bodywork · 6 min

Nobody wants to be the difficult one.

Which is exactly why most people lie about pressure, spend ninety minutes braced against a hand that is working too hard, and go home sore in a way that has nothing to do with the tissue releasing.

Solstice / Blog / Asking for the right pressure

The scale 1–3 · surface, warming
4–6 · comfortable, useful
7 · the target 8 · edge of tolerable
9–10 · you are bracing

Say the number, during

Out of ten. Seven is what you are aiming for: distinctly strong, unmistakably work, and you can still breathe normally through it. If your breath has gone shallow or you are holding it, you are at nine, and nothing good happens at nine.

Say it while it is happening rather than at the end. "A bit lighter through here" costs you nothing and changes the next eighty minutes. Told afterwards, it only informs a session you have already paid for.

Why nine does not work

At nine your body guards. The muscle contracts against the hand to protect the joint underneath it, which is an involuntary reflex and not something you can decide your way out of. So the practitioner is now working against a muscle that is actively resisting, at a depth it will not yield at, and both of you spend the hour losing.

The soreness afterwards is not the work landing. It is the bruising from an hour of that argument.

Deep is a tempo

The phrase "deep tissue" is badly named and it costs people a lot of comfort. It does not mean harder. It means slower, and aimed at a layer beneath the one most hands work. Pressure applied faster than tissue can yield produces guarding; the same pressure applied slowly at the same depth is routinely described afterwards as gentler, and does considerably more.

If you have been told you need "the strongest person in the building", you have most likely been having fast massage rather than deep massage. One session tells you which.

Four sentences that actually work.

Instead of “that’s fine”

“That’s about a six. You can go a bit deeper.”

Gives a number and a direction. A practitioner can act on this immediately and precisely, which "that's fine" does not allow.

Instead of enduring it

“That one’s an eight. Ease off about ten per cent.”

Ten per cent is a real instruction. "Lighter" often produces a drop to four, and then you have lost the session in the other direction.

For a specific spot

“Everywhere else is right. That spot is sharp.”

Separates the region from the session. Sharp, radiating or electrical is different from strong, and it is worth naming so the work moves rather than pushes.

Before you start

“I’d rather not talk, and I’ll say if anything’s too much.”

Sets both terms in one sentence and nobody takes it personally. Said at the start it lands as preference; said at minute forty it lands as a complaint.

Sharp is not strong

Strong is dull, broad and tolerable. Sharp, burning, radiating or electrical is a different signal and should always be said out loud straight away. It usually means a nerve rather than a muscle, and the work needs to move rather than push harder.

What the forty-eight hours should feel like

Loose and slightly heavy for the first four hours. A dull, diffuse ache between twelve and thirty-six hours, worst on waking, very like the day after a hard session in the gym. Then, from day three, the thing you booked it for: range comes back, the shoulder sits where it should, and sleep is usually better for about a week.

What it should not feel like is bruising, sharp pain on movement, or numbness. If any of that turns up, call the desk. Nobody will be defensive about it and the next session gets planned differently rather than repeated.

The short version

Use a number. Use it during. Aim for seven. Say "sharp" the moment anything is sharp. And if you would rather not talk for ninety minutes, say that at the start. It is the single most common thing people wish they had said and the easiest one to say.

Solstice Spa & Wellness·122 N 5th Ave, Scottsdale·Updated August 2026

Asked often.

What pressure should I ask for in a massage?

Use a number out of ten and say it during the session. Seven is the target: distinctly strong, still able to breathe normally. If you are holding your breath you are at nine, and nothing useful happens at nine.

Why does too much pressure not work?

At nine out of ten the body guards. The muscle contracts against the hand to protect the joint underneath, so the practitioner is working against a muscle that is actively resisting. The soreness afterwards is bruising from that argument, not the work landing.

Is deep tissue massage supposed to hurt?

No. Deep tissue is a tempo rather than a force: slower, and aimed at a layer beneath the one most hands work. The same pressure applied slowly is usually described as gentler and does considerably more.

How should I feel in the days after a massage?

Loose and heavy for four hours, a dull diffuse ache between twelve and thirty-six hours, then improved range from day three. Bruising, sharp pain on movement or numbness is not normal and is worth a phone call.

Ninety minutes, at a seven.

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